Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Week 37: Good Examples

Parents: We Love 'Em!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my parents. This makes sense, since I'm on my way to becoming a parent myself! Parents also keep coming up in conversations with my friends. I've been asked a number of times lately if I'm concerned at all about my parents, and Erik's parents, and boundaries once the baby comes. My honest answer is always, "Huh--no, not really!" and people tend to look at me like I'm a little naive. And maybe I am--but I honestly don't see my parents or Erik's as being anything but supportive, respectful--and of course super excited for our son and our journey of parenting!

See, unlike some adults who continually realize what they didn't like about their parents, I am consistently realizing how amazing my parents really were/are! Erik and I agree--the older we get, the more appreciative of and in awe of our parents we are. We are so blessed; our parents, all four of them, were and continue to be incredible examples of, well, good parenting!

My parents, John and Karen, have somehow struck a perfect balance of love, freedom, discipline and silliness. I was their guinea pig, which sometimes I jokingly complain about, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

I have always loved this picture. Such comfort and security--I love my mom!

Daddy-daughter moments--I have so many good memories of my Dad! Goofy as he is, he did an awesome job of raising all of girls ... and my brother. :)

Tim and Linda--Erik's their only son, and they raised him so well!

Sons learn how to be men from their Dads; Tim taught Erik well!

Linda (and Tim) instilled such a love of music into their children--and I get to reap the benefits!

Erik and I agree--we have the best parents in the world. They taught us so much, and we can't wait to start employing the same skills with our son! Thank you to our parents! We can't wait to see you learn to be our son's grandparents as well.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Week 36: How Old Am I?

I'm going to be a mom.

It's actually happening--there's no turning back!

It was during this week that I had this thought, "Wow--Um, what if I'm not ready?"

Now, intellectually, I know I'm ready. I'm 27 for heaven's sake, and have been praying for and preparing for this for over 3 years.

However, when I think inside my head (Robbin Brown, I love how you say that all the time...) about becoming a mom, I tend to think I'm not ready.

I think I think this because I know that really, deep down, I'm just the same girl who, when she was 9, wanted to read Nancy Drew all day and build a fort with her sisters and brother.

Or when she was 13 and the highlight of life was riding to Target on her bike to buy Skittles.

Or the girl who when she was 17 centered much of her world around her high school sweetheart and drama practice.

Or the girl/woman who spent college rollerblading, napping, and goofing off with friends.

Or the wife who struggles to discipline herself enough to make meals, or clean consistently, or spend quality time with the Lord.

See, one part of my mind knows I'm ready to be a mom (I kinda don't have a choice at this point!) but the other "me's" inside my head from years and experiences past sometime cause me to doubt that I can do this. That I can be selfless enough, and scheduled enough and disciplined enough ...

But hey, I don't have to be perfect or perfectly ready to enter motherhood. My son will soon be the joy of my life, my husband will continue to be a support and life partner, and the Lord will continue sustain me, and teach me through each and every experience.

Just like I learned from Nancy Drew ...
and building forts ...
and biking to Target ...
and eating Skittles ...
and having a boyfriend ...
and being in drama ...
and rollerblading, napping and goofing off ...
and struggling to cook, clean and be the "perfect" Christian.

Now I get the amazing opportunity to learn from being a mom. A mom to little Josh, who I hope to meet very very soon!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Week 35: NOW I get it.

This is the week I finally understood--I'm so ready to be done.

For so long, I was just marveling in the wonder of pregnancy. I'd wanted it and dreamed of it for so long--how could I not love it? I, in my most honest moments, would wonder, "Do I even want to be a mother? Or did I just want to be pregnant?"

Well everyone--I am so done being pregnant.

Ok, well, not so done. It's still not that bad, and I still marvel at the miracle happening in and to me. However, I'm finally beginning to understand why women would wish to be done. Why moms would smile a sweet smile of understanding and pity toward me. I get it now!

He discovered my ribs. And my bladder. At the same time. He thinks it's pretty fun to scoot his little rump right up into my right ribs and just chill. Not amount of prodding or pushing can change his mind--especially when he chooses to hang out there at 3am when Mommy is trying to sleep. So, I'm learning the art of sleeping propped up by three pillows so my poor muscles and organs can stop spasming from the pressure of his placement.

My feet started swelling really bad this week too. It just all hit at once and suddenly, motherhood was lookin' pretty dang good!!

I guess that's the point, right? This is all for the purpose of bearing a child, and being a mother. I am increasingly excited to meet my little guy, and start a new adventure!

One that perhaps doesn't involved sharing my rib cage.