Monday, August 27, 2012

36 Weeks: Mind Over Matter

It's amazing how my mind can get so set on something. No matter how many times I remind myself I'm 4 weeks out, and Baby Boo is due on September 21st, my mind is convinced she's coming as early as Joshua came--which means less than 2 weeks from now.

Well we all know, that just might not be true. 

And yet, my subconscious seems to have really grabbed hold of the idea. I find myself taking walks more often, randomly doing leg lifts, back stretches, leg stretches, side stretches (as if any of this really does anything) and the other night I had the most incredible urge to get off the couch onto the floor and do sit ups.

What the ... ?!

I think my subconscious is attempting to prepare my body for the inevitable, but it's not sure how to do it. I mean, leg lifts and sit ups? Really? I'm not heading toward the Olympics. 

It is funny though. With the first child, I could more easily settle my thoughts by saying "He's not due until May 4th! Don't get your hopes up that he'll be here early!" But since he DID come early ... and the doctor did say, "If he'd come any later, and any bigger, you may not have gotten him out!" ... it's so much harder this time around to not expect an early baby!

And then my mom reminds me that all of her first three were early ... 2 weeks, 3 weeks, and a few days .... and then the FOURTH one was late. Way to go, Molly. Way to go.

Either way, 2 weeks from now or 4, Baby Boo is a-coming, and I, for one, will be quite happy when she's interrupting my sleep in person, instead of by head butting my bladder and punching kidneys and sitting on nerves and kicking ribs.... :)

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Dear Joshua: There's Nothing Like Being Your Mama

Joshua Nelson Lindeen ...

You are currently crawling around your craft table, in mismatched pajamas, and a probably grossly soggy diaper. One boot on, one boot off, pushing a Sesame Street bus full of random toys. The fort I made for you has collapsed, but you don't seem to mind. For the first time in about 37 minutes, you speak my name, which has actually recently changed to "Mommy" (apparently "Mama" is for babies...) You bring me the engine of your Little People Zoo Train, saying "Mommy! Uh oh?!" I tell you to go find the other pieces, which you promptly do, limping just a little due to the one boot situation. I continue typing and you suddenly appear with the other two pieces of the train. I grab the engine, and say, "See? Now we just click them together" to which you respond affirmatively "Yes." And you scamper away, as much as one can scamper with only one boot, to place your "woo-whoo chugga chugga" on the floor under the chair that used to support your fort. I smile gratefully and turn contentedly back to my tasks. Moments later I hear "Uh oh! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and I think to myself ah the bliss of independent play is coming to an end... and I ask my little buddy what he needs. Interpreting the various arm gestures, grunts, "eh ehs" and "uh ohs" I determine that he wants to animals that go with the zoo train. Due to recent organization efforts, all animals are in a tub on the top shelf of the closet. I explain this to him as I get it down. "Wow wow wow!" he exclaims as he digs through the tub, engrossed in this new discovery of old toys.

Moments later I hear "Nonnie! Nonnie!" and I can't quite figure out why he's calling for my mom. He comes running up to me holding a plastic Lego "hop-po" (hippo) and I realize he knows that this is from Nonnie's house--a stowaway in Christmas luggage that we'll have to return someday. "Yes buddy, that's from Nonnie's house, isn't it?" "Yes." And off he goes, to fill the train with hop-pos and whys (lions). I stop briefly to help him put the tractor hood back on, and watch as he places the train conductor in the smoke stack, because apparently this is where he belongs.

I'm well aware that I'm still in my PJs (though they do match), and drinking my coffee, and the front entry way is blocked by a fallen fort and many many toys. We have people coming over for a vocal rehearsal in precisely 29 minutes, and a small, very small part of me thinks I should pick up a little.

But the joy of being this little guy's Mama, and the incredible relief and joy of watching him learn to play so well independently causes me to laugh at the urge to clean up. I instead attempt to capture this beautiful moment in words, and go back to sipping my coffee and writing some letters.

(He has since filled the Jungle Car full of animals and safari people, and as he pauses every few moments to wipe his incredibly runny nose, he sings to himself and I can hear him counting. [Which sounds like "Di Di Di!"] For a moment he grabs his baby doll and cuddles it, whispering his baby sister's name and singing a little song. He feeds her some play-doh spaghetti that he made earlier, and then tosses her to the side, grabs a play cell phone, and says "Hi? Babble babble babble....Hi? Bye!" and the playing goes on ... on and on and on. I LOVE THIS.)

Monday, August 13, 2012

S.O.A.P: Matthew 7

It has been a rough morning. With my injured rib and general physical discomfort, I did not sleep well. Thankfully, my hubby traded with me and took the toddler--and I went back to bed. When I finally got up to get to work, I kept thinking to myself, "Man--you're cranky!!" I kinda had to force myself to brew a cup of coffee and crack open my Bible. It's just one of those days where I would have naturally chosen to not crack my Bible, but instead lazily immerse myself in social media or obsessively check my emails, even though not many are coming through.

So here's my S.O.A.P for the day:

S (Scripture): Matthew 7:20 "Thus you will recognize them [believers] by their fruits."

O (Observation): It's so simple--if disease resides within me, I'll produce bad fruit. AKA: this morning. If health is in me, I'll produce good fruit. Simple as that.

A (Application): On a day where I'm particularly grumpy, this was NOT my favorite section/verse to read. Pretty sure no good fruits are falling off this tree today...which is exACTly why I needed to take 10 and get into the Word this morning!

P (Prayer): Lord, catch my attention, call me to be still and rest in Your goodness. Forgive my nasty attitude--and thank you that no one was here today to catch the brunt of it. In spite of me, please work in and through me today. Amen.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

33 Weeks: More Nesting

I often can't breathe. I have sporadic "pregnancy panic attacks", my diaphragm is so overworked and squished it hurts, I am stiff and sore, I can hardly put my weight on my left leg .... and yet nesting takes over. The urge to sort, organize, throw, sift, and clean is so overwhelming, it doesn't matter that I am super uncomfortable.

All that matters is the toys, books, blocks, clothes, diapers, nuks, wipes, burp cloths, trains, "guys", stuffed animals and craft items all have a place and a use in this family.

AND that all the random "junk" toys that even the most picky family collects are stealthily set aside and throw away, unbeknownst to the little boy to my left.

Ah, what would a mother do without nesting? I just wish the power of nesting would come at any other time than 33 weeks pregnant. :)

33 weeks ... Baby Boo, we're getting ready for you!!

Toddler bed integrated into upstairs of home ... Check!
Curtains hung ... Check!
Burp cloths folded ... Check! (and I must say, I breathed in the scent of those cloths deeply. They still smell like my baby boy ... *sniff* *tear*)
Toys ruthlessly sorted ... Check!
Baby Boo's name created and hung ... Check!

And the list goes on!