Imperfect Photos

I'm so annoyed with myself.

My kids look adorable and I wanted to capture the matching outfits. I adjusted blankets, ornaments, presents and seats to prepare for what I knew would be a crazy photo shoot.

During a break from the football game, Erik helped me gather the children and prop them up. Well, Becca we propped up. Joshua we bribed, cajoled, coaxed and entertained in an attempt to get some precious photos.

So why am I annoyed with myself? Because I got frustrated. I got frustrated with my two year old because he wouldn't sit still and smile normally. Because he wouldn't stop saying "cheese" with a squinchy face. Because he wouldn't look at the camera. Because he kept rocking and moving, and laying, and rolling. I got frustrated because my two year old was, well, being two.

My goodness, what else did I expect from him??

He wouldn't be Joshua Nelson Lindeen if he didn't make goofy faces, roll on the floor, pucker up and make oogly noises at his sister. He wouldn't be Joshua and he wouldn't be mine if he wasn't the silly little boy that he is. 

And I must say, the imperfect pictures that we did capture are the most precious, true-to-life pictures I've ever seen. My impish little boy and my smiley miracle baby girl.

We are so blessed. Merry Christmas from the Lindeens!!

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Feeling overwhelmed? I am. I really feel like I shouldn't feel overwhelmed. I mean, Joshua was in daycare for 6 hours today. I was able to squeeze a workout in while Becca napped. Erik did a fair chunk of my normal house hold cleaning yesterday. I was able to get a haircut yesterday. I didn't have a lot of work on my plate today.

And yet, I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, I just think being an adult is overwhelming.

Keep a clean house.
Understand health insurance.
Swap the laundry.
Feed your kids
Clothe your kids. In moderately clean clothes.
Spend quality time with your spouse.
File your own taxes.
Wash all fruits and veggies. Well.
Play with your kids.
Put gas in the car.
Remember to change the oil.
Balance your checkbook. (What's that?)
Give back to your community.
Establish a circle of friends.
Clean out the fridge.
Unscrew the outdoor hoses. BEFORE it snows.
Change the furnace filter.
Pick up some DrainO.
Take a break.
Hold down a job.
Pursue a career.
Chase your dreams.
Soothe the crying 10 week old who has a tummy ache and just can't be calmed down.

Adulthood is overwhelming. Motherhood is overwhelming. I'm not complaining; I'm just stating a fact.

Good thing tonight Joshua went to bed easily and I really can put my feet up and at least attempt to soothe the bundle of Boo who seems to have a sore tummy. I guess, for this moment in time, I'm not too overwhelmed.

We have a KID!

Today has been a funny day. Why? Because Joshua Nelson Lindeen is funny. Quite, in fact. 

I love that kid.

This evening after dinner we played hide n seek. Joshua learned this awesome game while staying with his older cousins this week. So tonight, we played a family game. First time ever that we really felt like we had a kid! I turned to Erik at one point and said, "Wait a minute--we have a KID!" Joshua would even take a turn counting "Di Doos Di Di .... ready here come!" and he turned out to be a great hider. I reveled in the joy on his face every time we found him or him us or he just jumped out of his spot, so enthusiastically engaged in the fun. We have a kid!

This morning, he drank his milk, pointed to his tummy and said, "Tummy! Milk! Gone!" and laughed. Then he pointed to the front of his diaper and said, "Milk! Gone! Haha!" and promptly went to the bathroom.

At dinner, I gave Joshua some watered down Crystal Lite as a treat. He immediately started guzzling it. We said, "Time to pray!" and he pointed his index finger at me in this new way that he does and said, "No! Wait! No Waaaaaait!" "Wait for what Joshua? It's time to pray--we always pray before a meal." "No, wait! Juice." he stated matter of factly and kept right on guzzling. We tried not to laugh and prayed to thank Jesus for the juice.

Apparently I take too many pictures, because now Joshua starts to say, "No, mama. [index finger pointing included.] No mama--no picture."

We made a gingerbread house today--or more like we decorated a pre-assembled foam house that I got at Target for $5. THANK YOU TARGET. Joshua has been carrying that thing around all day. In fact, the house had to play hide n seek with us.

Joshua loves to have me (or anyone available) draw animals based on his whims. Today it was hippos. Other days it has been giraffes, alligators, lions, bears and tigers. [{The only one I just canNOT figure out is rhinos. If someone can teach me how to draw a rhino, I'd greatly appreciate it. So would Joshua. My rhino is creepy...}] Erik was putting Joshua down for a nap this afternoon, and for whatever reason it was a struggle. He almost had him content and drifting off when Joshua sat upright in bed, eyes wide and yelled tearfully, "Hippo cubor! Hippo cubors! Daddy, Mama, hippo cubor!!!" Erik came to me, bewildered. I knew immediately--he wanted the two scrap pieces of paper that I'd drawn hippos on earlier that day. Erik got them, gave them, and Joshua went to sleep, "hippo cubors" (hippo colors) in hand.

We have a kid. He talks to us, he tests us, he loves us. He tells us stories (though we often can't decipher, we've learned to nod and pause and affirm with the best of 'em), and he shares his joy with us. I'm so excited for more family hide n seek nights--it's fun having a kid!

Dear Rebecca: I see you, I hear you

I've been getting into the show "Parenthood" the last few weeks. It's what I watch when I'm nursing Becca and Joshua isn't around to entertain me. There's an episode where two of the characters are in marriage counseling, and the husband keeps using the phrase "I see you and I hear you." 

I often find myself saying this exact phrase to my adorable daughter. 

Rebecca, Mama sees you and Mama hears you. 

This sweet little girl--this miraculous gift from God--just wants to chat. She'll be in the middle of nursing and I'll glance down and there she is, twinkling eyes and huge bubbly grin.  

I see you and I hear you. 

I'll sit her up to burp her and I'll pause for just a second because I know that as soon as her eyes focus and she hones in on my face I'll be rewarded with the biggest grin ever, complete with drooly lips and a body wiggle. 

I see you and I hear you.

As I bustle around the house, or rapid-fire reply to emails between a feeding and the soon-to-follow nap time, she sits in her bouncer or swing and coos at her animal friends. I'll glance over every now and then and see my baby girl, eyes searching for someone to talk to. The panda on the toy bar just doesn't always cut it.

I see you and I hear you. 

When I take a moment to put down the food I'm cooking or the laundry I'm folding and simply stick my face in front of hers I am reminded: all this little one wants is me. All she is asking for is a hello. A howdy do. A moment in time to see my face and respond. 

I see you and I hear you. 

That smile melts my heart every. single. time. 

That grin causes laughter to bubble up inside me. 

That new found "coo" and "goo" and the beginnings of a giggle bring me so much sunshine on these cloudy days that I just don't know how I ever lived my life without you, Rebecca. You are my sunshine. You are my joy. 

I see you, and I hear you, and I am forever grateful that you are mine.