Sunday, February 6, 2011

TED talk: Glad I watched

Three weeks ago, my pastor sent me a link to a TED talk, saying that I might be interested.

Today I finally took the time to watch it.

He had said he was hooked by 8 minutes in.

At two minutes in, I was intrigued enough to keep watching.

At five minutes in, with a chart depicting love over time for offspring, I was hooked.

At nine minutes in, when Alisa shared about her miscarriage, I was bonded.

She speaks for the feeling a failure a woman feels, the fear for conceiving again, and the discovery of the "secret society of women" who had been there. She was speaking my language when she spoke of miscarriage as an "invisible loss" with no community support. If you walked with me through the journey of infertility, you know I've railed against this. I remember being so angry that the death of my child, albiet unborn and only a few weeks past conception, didn't warrant a day off from work. I was to use a "sick" day to grieve the life of my child. I'm sorry--is miscarriage a sickness? And inferitility itself--I wasn't "sick", so there was no need for delivered meals, or offers of help. I was still able, and available, and successful ... but was dying inside, month after month after month. I remember telling a friend how lonely the journey of infertility is. I remember it, and I pray to God never to have to walk that road again. But if I do, I resolve to continue to speak out, speak up and stop the silence surrounding the pain of waiting for a child.

I digress.

I started watching this TED talk this morning, purely because I don't like to say I'll do something and then not do it.

Today, I'm quite grateful for that trait in me that doesn't allow me to ignore another's suggestion.

So thanks, Steve, for sending it. It was refreshing to watch, fun to listen to, and thought provoking to blog about.

Let's talk parenting taboos: Rufus Griscom + Alisa Volkman | Video on

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