Soul Mate

Best friends have a way of speaking to your heart. Even when miles and miles apart--a whole country even--sometimes a best girlfriend sees your soul even better than your husband does. Why is that? Maybe it's because she can only hear my voice--so she has to listen. Or she can only read my words--so she has to understand. Maybe it's a "girl thing". I'm sure it has something to do with living and growing together for four years.

How can I live with my soul mate, my best friend, and still feel so alone? How can I have dozens of friends here I could run to in an instant, and still feel so unknown?

There's just something about that best girl friend--my female soul mate, if you will. That give and take; the perfect mixture of laughter and tears; the "I'll lean on you when I have no strength, as long as you allow me to do the same for you sometime soon".

I've had only a few in my lifetime, and there are two that I miss deeply right now. Losing one of these girlfriends is painful; I've been going through that recently as well. It's not a feeling I'd ever like to experience again. But these two women--these two friends who can look into my soul and speak to my heart in ways that no one else can ... I hope they know what they mean to me. I hope they know how much I need them, even if we're separated by miles, states, and even a whole country.

When I feel so alone and unknown ...

When I feel like I don't even understand myself ...

When I feel lost and so broken ...

It's these best girl friends that I need.

Written Sunday morning, 4/5/09